The French Connection

The story goes like this. Once upon a time there were two friends named Vijay and Pavan, who shared a common interest in learning French language(or should I say for reasons unfolded in this post). So, they embarked on a mission to master the language(with excitement level comparable to that of my first day in BTech). Based on already experienced French scholar Priyatham's rather prejudiced inputs on French ma'am( though it was hard for him to accept her as his mentor, which made their expectations sky rocket), they enrolled for the course without any second thoughts.
1st Day : These two, brimming with anticipation, expectations were waiting for the French ma'am. The class was reverberating with introductory sentences like "Je m'appele .......", bonjour! etc, but these two carried a rather dejected look on their faces for the whole duration. The reasons, firstly the instructor turned out to be a male and secondly, they realized how bad Priyatham's taste was, when ma'am walked in the middle of the class. But on the whole it was a fun filled two months experience of French.
After the successful completion of the course the certificates were due. Vijay requested Pavan to take his certificate on his behalf, for which Pavan obeyed diligently. After one month of reminders and rather pleading requests from Vijay, Pavan the lazy ass he is, brings the certificate to office to hand it over to Vijay. With a sense of an achievement in doing so, he shoots the following mail :

From: Pavan Kumar Vankamamidi
Sent: Friday, August 08, 2008 12:21 PM
To: Vijay Kumar Reddy Chenreddy
Subject: french certificate

Dear Vijay,
I request you, on behalf of I.D.F.A., to collect your French Level 1 certificate from the bench cubicle on the second floor of Building 19. In case, you are unable to collect it today, I regret to inform you that it will firstly be peed upon, then shredded to 1mm sized pieces, set on fire and the ashes will again be peed upon.
So, make sure that you will collect it before 5:00 pm today. Hope you had a good time learning the language.

Regards,
V. Pavan Kumar

for which Vijay responded as follows:

From: Vijay Kumar Reddy Chenreddy
Sent: Friday, August 08, 2008 1:55 PM
To: Pavan Kumar Vankamamidi
Subject: RE: french certificate

Dear Pavan,
I appreciate your concern regarding my certificate and would make it a point to collect it. But I want to remind you of one thing, before you go ahead with your peeing process. ‘PEEING IN PUBLIC PLACES IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED, NON COMPLIANCE WOULD ATTRACT WHIPPING ON YOUR ASS IN THE OPEN AIR THEATRE. To add to the excitement folks from the company will gather to clap and cheer the whipper. At the end of the event Pavan already an Asshole, would be Pavan with a swelling ASS with a hole.

Thanks and Regards,
Whipper Vijay.

To which he responds :

From: Pavan Kumar Vankamamidi
Sent: Friday, August 08, 2008 1:56 PM
To: Vijay Kumar Reddy Chenreddy
Subject: RE: french certificate

Whipper Vijay…. Roflol… hahahahahaha… that fucking rhymes…

The whole episode was quite funny one and I thought it was worth replicating here, so that I can have a laugh whenever I open my blog. Pavan is now embarking on a new journey with Mormons and here's wishing him "all the best, be the same asshole as you always were".